Lucky Me

bigcWe lost Cathy last night.  She went quietly in her sleep after eating a nice piece of homemade pie.

Paul almost made it with a bouquet of peonies just for Cathy.  She’d wanted them at their wedding, but her father bought carnations instead.

She made peace with her father, and then he staggered out of the room with a hangover.

She told Andrea to go ahead and go to New York, to do it for herself and for Cathy.

Adam worked hard to graduate early, just so she could see her son graduate before she left.

And Sean gave his kidney to a stranger.

And when Cathy passed, Marlene and Thomas were there waiting for her by the pool.

I learned a lot by watching The Big C these past years. If anything, I learned it’s okay to laugh at death.  It’s going to come, regardless of what we do. Death is stubborn, but it shouldn’t be scary. And whether God is there or not, or our loved ones, or our hospice nurse, we still have to greet death alone.

It is a test. We have to prepare ourselves to leave, but our loved ones and friends must do the same. We can be selfish, though we might not want to. We just don’t want to get in the way.

And our health system will fail us. There is no compassion there. If you watched last night, you saw Cathy getting kicked out of the Hospice center because her insurance would only cover four months and they wouldn’t take cash. “I want to die here,” Cathy said. “Well, you have until Friday to do it,” her case worker said.

I have experienced that myself lately with doctors and tests that cannot show any results for the pain I’m feeling, with an insurance policy that barely covers the bill.  Sometimes I’d rather just suffer with it than continue to pay for nothing.

But in the end, lucky us. We get to leave this world and all our troubles behind. It’s not the hours in the life, but the life in the hours that matters. But it takes a death for us to see that, and sometimes then it’s too late.

Nah, it’s never too late.

Lucky me.


The Big C Finale: Paul?

Cathy reaches the finish line!

Did you watch the season finale of The Big C last night?  If you haven’t seen it yet, don’t read this. But just know this…it was awesome and ended with a big questionable cliff hanger.

Cathy decides to run the New Year’s marathon after taking Lee’s number when she was too late to sign up.  She goes to congratulate her old doctor on his engagement and he advises her not to run, but she sets out to do it anyway.

Cathy discovers Paul’s little cocaine addiction, but he assures her its no problem.  Rather than throwing it out, he uses up the rest of it on his way to battle it out with the insurance company who won’t pay a claim for Cathy’s treatment and stopped taking his calls.  He crashes their New Year’s Eve party with an awesome “Gosh, I wish I could do that!” scene where he really goes off on them and makes the party a bit uncomfortable.

Paul and Lee

Meanwhile, Cathy starts the race late but she isn’t giving up. Shawn, her brother, joins her for the first few miles and then gives up.  Her old doctor and her son, Adam, are there cheering her own.  It takes all night, but Cathy finally reaches the finish line where the young doctor, Shawn, and her son are all waiting for her and cheering her own.  Then, up steps the spirits of Lee and Marlene to cheer as well.  And last but not least, Paul shows up too. Cathy says “Everyone is here!”  And then Adam says, “Except Dad!”  Cathy takes a second look and notices Paul is standing next to Lee and Marlene.

Cut to a scene of Paul lying on the ground and being attended to by paramedics and he’s obviously flat lined after the stresses of dealing with the insurance company and overdosing on coke. Cathy falls to the ground when she realizes what’s happening, and her loved ones rush to her. Fade to black.

So, is Paul really dead?  I actually don’t think so.  I think he’ll be revived successfully.  If not, then that’s 3 characters that were killed off this season: Paul, Lee, and the unborn baby Cathy.

Guess we’ll have to wait till next year to find out.  What a great season this was!


Good-Bye Lee…

I missed The Big C on Showtime again this week on Monday so I had to catch the rerun on Thursday.  Since, it’s now been five days since it aired, I’m not worried about ruining it for anyone.  So, if you Tivo’ed it and haven’t watched it yet, you might not want to read this.

Ever since its first season last year, The Big C has tugged at my heart strings every time, and maybe that’s what keeps me watching.  I need something on TV to stir me on the inside and remind me how precious life really is out here.

Lee died last night.  For those who don’t know, Cathy met Lee this season in her clinical trial and though they’ve had their differences, they were “mole” mates.  That’s what they called themselves.  Lee taught Cathy about good wine, and even took Cathy and Paul out to a gay bar one night.

The clinical trial was working for Cathy, but not for Paul.  This caused some tense situations between the two, and caused Paul to finally leave the trial all together.  Last night, Cathy called him and left a message and he called her back.  Despite needing to get ready for their trip to Rome, Cathy went to see him only to discover he was ready to go.  Cathy stayed with him all night and said her good-byes and wish him safe travels, but got the best gift ever when she got home.  Sean had returned home.

The season finale is next week!  If you haven’t been watching this show, do catch up.  It’s one of the best and it’s full of real emotion.

Get ready… The Big C: Season 2 is here!

Monday night was the Season 2 Premiere of HBO’s The Big C starring Laura Linney. I loved Season 1 so I couldn’t wait for the start of Season 2.  Monday’s show wasn’t quite as funny as Season 1 Episode’s tended to be, but it was still filled with laughs and even some tears from me in the end.

Spoilers About the Show:

So, Cathy is leaving Dr. Todd for a second opinion.  Since Paul found out that Dr. Todd kissed Cathy (Cathy confessed while she and Paul were smoking pot together – a remedy Todd suggested to relieve her headaches) Paul confronted Todd and popped him in the mouth.  However, Cathy was already trying to get an appointment to another doctor who’d been getting good results supposedly with Stage 4 cancer patients, after Dr. Todd looked at her scans and decided that the chemo wasn’t working.  Cathy isn’t taking no for an answer!

Meanwhile, Cathy is trying to get son Adam to go to counseling.  Adam just wants to hang out with his friends, and has also taken up “aggresive farting” which Paul and Cathy think means something.  Sean, Cathy’s brother, finally finds out that Cathy has cancer, thanks to his pregnant girlfriend blabbing it to him despite Cathy asking her not to because she wanted to be the one to tell him.  But Cathy was worried that Sean would blow up so she made him a sandwich laced with some meds to hopefully keep him calm.  But she dropped some pills and Thomas, Marlene’s dog that now lives with Cathy, swallowed a couple. While Cathy was panicking about Thomas, Rebecca the girlfriend came in and saw the pill bottles and began asking a bunch of questions so Cathy just told her.  Thomas was okay!

Paul later  mistakened Thomas to be dead again, and had to tell Cathy after she finally got an appointment with the new doctor after many a harrassing voice mail left and an awkward visit to the doctor’s office.  But after his confrontation with Paul, Dr. Todd had called and got Cathy the appointment.  Luckily, Thomas the dog wasn’t dead after all and Dr. Todd confessed to Cathy that she can’t be his patient anymore because he sees her as more than a patient.

Add to this that Cathy has been seeing Marlene, or Marlene’s ghost, and Marlene is hamming up death big time.  She even wanted to stick her foot in the garbage disposal and have Cathy turn it on just to see if she could feel anything.  Cathy’s been chasing her away, but Marlene won’t give.  The show even ended with a tearful scene of Cathy sitting on the floor hugging Thomas and Marlene is sitting on the steps behind her just grinning and shaking her head.

End Spoilers.

Like I said, I laughed out loud some and was even shedding a tear by the end.  This show did that to me many a time in the first season.  So, the new season is off to a great start so far.  The only thing that really stuck out to me is that Cathy mentioned quite a bit about Sean being sick in this episode.  That wasn’t something that was discussed much in the first season.  Sure, we all know by watching the show that he’s a bit crazy, but sickness was never mentioned.  It will be interesting to see if they are adding this little detail in order to approach the subject more later.

I’m so glad The Big C is back!  Check back next week for my thoughts on the next show!

Good-bye Nurse Jackie!

Well, HBO’s Nurse Jackie wrapped up its season last night.  I hate those short Spring seasons of 30 minute shows, but I’m also happy to see them go because it means True Blood and The Big C are about to start.  In fact, both start next Sunday and Monday.

It’s hard to determine where the show is going as far as Jackie is concerned.  We know her job isn’t in trouble, but her marriage is.  So!  What else is new?  As Nurse Jackie stands there quiet and conservative, contemplating what’s going on, so too is the audience left in silence and wondering what happens next.  We never see Jackie changing or wanting to change; it’s everything else around her that is in a constant whirlwind.  I think that’s what makes the show so intriguing.

And while I will continue to watch as long as the show is on, I don’t see it lasting much longer.  It’s Jackie that never changes, but isn’t the show named after her?  The writers are going to have to give us something more drastic if they want to hold our attention.

Its the comedic edge of all of Jackie’s coworkers that really give the show its breath.  The pill popping, affair having, disturbed children, ignoring each other marital problem story lines between Jackie and Kevin that’s grown almost as boring as their marriage itself.

See you next year, Jackie!  We hope!!


The Big C

Is anyone else watching The Big C on Showtime?  It just started two weeks ago. It stars Laura Linney who is just magnificent. Gabourey Sidibe also has a supporting role.

It’s about a woman whose been diagnosed with cancer, but gets a bit caught up in her normal life and decides not to tell anyone.  She and her husband are separated and he’s eager to get back with her, but thinks she’s cheating on him after he hears a voice mail from her doctor.  Her son is a prankster who wants to go away for six weeks to soccer camp, but Mom wants him to stay at home so they can catch up on all the things they’ve missed out on.  And she has a homeless brother whose angry at everyone for messing up the world buy buying big SUVs and not recycling.  There’s a bitchy neighbor whose also ready to check out but “just keeps waking up.”

If you just ever really wanted to laugh at the complexities and unfairness of life, you need to get in on this show.  It brings tears to my eyes and a smile to my face every time I watch it.  The premiere was just amazing and had me hooked right from the start.  We really do just need to laugh sometimes!