THE FINAL CHAPTER (Spoilers)

Ana wakes to Mr. Grey playing sad songs on the piano in his pajama bottoms.

They talk about the contract, which she still hasn’t signed.  He goes and gets a revised copy for her to look over. By the way, the only section completely crossed through is the section on FOOD!

He wants to spank her. She says he’ll have to catch her first. He reminds her that he wants to hurt her, but no more than what she can take because “I need it.”  (I’d like to slap the bitch around myself a bit at this point.)

She wants him to show her how bad it can hurt. So he makes her count licks while he uses a belt on her.

Then she calls him a fucked-up son of a bitch and tells him he needs to sort his shit out.  Really, Ana?  After the flogger and angelic music last night, the neck tie, the cable ties, the riding crop, the restraints, it’s the belt that helps you decide this man is fucked up?

She confesses she loves him. Then she decides she’s going to leave. She gives him all his stuff back – the Mac, the blackberry, and the car key – and wants the money he got for selling her ole clunker car. He asks if she’ll take a check.  “Yes. I think you’re good for it,” she says.

They say good-bye.

Taylor takes her home. She cries and the book ends with, “…the physical pain from the bite of the belt is nothing, noting compared to this devastation. I curl up, desperately clutching the flat foil balloon and Taylor’s handkerchief, and surrender myself to the grief.”

Blink. Blink. (cricket chirp, cricket chirp…)  That’s it?  She’s feeling grief over leaving him??  Grief?

Well, obviously we know they have to get back together. There’s two more books in this damn series, and while I’m sure they are filled with lustrous breath hitching, spanking, blushing, flogging, thawing, maybe a bit of eating, some DIY, a butt plug, gay flight attendants, 400 pages of emails, and a partridge in a pear tree, I WILL NOT BE READING THEM!

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Tomorrow….my final thoughts on Fifty Shades….