Fifty Shades of Grey – Chapter 23

Remember that 19930 movie Sliver?  This chapter is a lot like that.

I want to sliver inside you! Hey, is that Vidal? Your hair smells so good. I love his new tea tree line. Have you tried it? Makes my scalp tingle. Where were we? Oh yeah…

Sure enough, creepy Grey shows up at the hotel and has a drink with Ana and her Mom. Grey took her email literally and came to see her since she wished he was there. STALKER!  So he had to be sending half those emails from the last chapter via plane.  Shame the plane didn’t go down because his laptop was interfering with the cockpit operations. I bet Mr. Grey likes the work “cockpit.” I wonder if some very gay man gave him a massage?

Mom excuses herself. Grey and Ana talk about Mrs. Robinson. Grey leaves. Ana confesses to Mom she thinks she’s in love with Grey (SHOCKER!).  Ana goes up to Grey’s room.

And what does Grey ask her?

“Are you bleeding?  Do you have cramps? Did you take your pill?”

Really, Mr. Grey.  A hot woman comes up to your hotel room and you’re worried about her menstrual cycle???  That’s sexy.

And then he wants to go take a bubble bath. (Mr. Gay!)

They do it.  This man loves to fuck with Mr. Bubbles.

Ana asks him about his chicken pox scars. He says that’s not what they are.  They turn out to be cigarette stub burns.  Hmmm…kinky!

More talk about Mrs. Robinson and whether or not they loved each other. Uncomfortable!

And then Mr. Grey tells Ana she’s not a good submissive!  She strikes back with “Maybe I don’t have a good teacher.”

She asks him what his favorite movie is and he says today it’s The Piano. Gag!  I half expected him to say Priscilla Queen of the Desert, but that’s just me.

Then she asks the number of women he’s had sex with. She’s pleased to learn she’s his one and only “vanilla conquest.”  This man really is fucked up. Just saying.

He tells her about a place you can go and practice being a submissive for a small fee, and admits he’s paid for it.

She says she’ll be willing to go to the Red Room of Pain again.  (Maybe he should charge admission?) They go to sleep.


Up to this point, E.L. James has sadly attempted to get us to believe Ana is falling in love with him. Easily done since he’s just so hot and so handsome and makes us all swoon and blush and hitch and thaw and get all hot and bothered. This is really the first chapter where she attempts to paint Grey a sensitive side. However, it is more of a joke  because he’s still presented as being so damn feminine. He asks her about her period. He wants to take a bubble bath. His favorite movie is The Piano.  While a female reader will certainly go “Awwwe!” every time Grey opens his mouth, for the rest of us with a lick of sense he’s a clown and nothing more than a bad cliché.


  1. Not this female reader! I think I’m the only woman around here that’s read them and didn’t like them.

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