So we’re in a boathouse, right?  And like we’re gonna have sex on a boat, right?

Nope!  We’re gonna do it on a couch in the attic and Mr. Grey is gonna give it to her quick and it’s all for him, not for her.  I love how he tells her it’s gonna be quick – he’s a man. Isn’t the quick part a given?

In walks Mia and she’s either stupid or being kind because there’s no mention of them being caught in the act. Mr. Grey says he was just showing Ana his old rowing trophies. Well, we do know he’s talented with a paddle.  Mia tells them to come back to the house because Elliott and Kate are leaving – yeah, they are gonna probably go do it in the tree house.

Everyone goes back in the house and says good-bye. Ana and Mr. Grey chat.  She says “You are quite funny.”  He says, “Funny peculiar or funny ha-ha?”  See…he doesn’t even know he’s gay!

They go back to his place. She’s tired. She says she wants more.  He tells her one day he’s going to fuck her in the elevator. Stay classy, Mr. Grey!

They go to bed and Mr. Grey whips out a pair of shiny silver balls linked together by a thread.

He puts them in. He spanks her. He yanks the balls out. He fucks her. They come.

And then Mr. Grey reveals his real mother was a  “crack whore,” but she’s dead now.

“Good-night, Ana!”