You knew it was coming! No pun intended.  Well, maybe it was intended.

In Chapter 9, Ana wakes up and slips on Christian’s shirt and goes into the kitchen to make breakfast. She’s dancing around, listening to music, when he enters and sits down at the breakfast bar to watch.

I half expected for her to turn around, be startled by seeing him sitting there, drop the milk, and slip in it and go gliding across the floor. If Sandra Bullock played Ana in the movie version, that’s definitely what would happen, and she’d probably collide with Mr. Gray who would be naked and played by Ryan Reynolds (I wish!). No such luck in the book though.

I’ve come to the conclusion that every time Ana is around Mr. Gray and there’s food, she’s never hungry. He always practically commands her to eat, but she won’t. That’s okay in this chapter because she’s soon going to get a mouthful.

After Ana checks in with Kate, Mr. Gray asks her how last night was for her.

“Good,” she murmurs.

“Me, too,” he murmurs. “I’ve never had vanilla sex before. There’s a lot to be said for it. But then, maybe it’s because it’s with you.”

Vanilla sex? C’mon Mr. Gray, don’t confuse the poor girl.  You just showed her a Red Room of Pain, took her virginity, and now you are talking about sex like it’s ice cream. You need a hot bath.

Apparently, they both do because they go take one together. Mr. Gray lathers up and washes her private parts. And then he says:

“I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I’m very attached to this.”  Wow! Is he cocky or what?

So Ana lathers up and washes Mr. Gray’s private parts.

It’s so big and growing!  She’s astounding that was inside her!  Get back, Ana, Mr. Gray doesn’t know how big this thing gets.

And then she puts it in her mouth and I’m thinking two things: (1) Did you rinse all the soap off first? (2) Can you breathe under water?

He shoots. He scores. She swallows.  And of course, he says its the best he’s ever had – despite this is the first time she’s ever done this?!

They towel off and she puts her hair in pig tails. They go to the bedroom and he ties her hands together with a nice silk GRAY tie.

They do it again and just as they finish, Mr. Gray hears his mother’s voice in the hallway!

Oh shit!

You were supposed to put the tie on the door knob, Mr. Gray!