Fifty Shades of Grey – Chapter 5

Ana wakes up in Grey’s hotel suite.  She wakes up well rested and Grey enters hot and sweaty from a work out.

“Holy hell, he’s been working out. He’s in gray sweatpants that hang, in that way, off his hips and a gray sleeveless T-shirt which is dark with sweat, like his hair. Christian Grey’s sweat; the notion does odd things to me. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I feel like a two-year-old…”

Hmm…how many two-year-olds do you know who get queasy over sweat?  Just saying.

Grey scolds Ana for her behavior the night before and says, “Well, if you were mine, you wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week after the stunt you pulled yesterday.” Oooh, daddy!  But Ana seems to miss this reference.  She says he’s quite the disciplinarian to which he says, “you have no idea.”

Grey has ordered new clothes for her, including some nice expensive panties which she obsesses over, but forget that.  She has an intimate moment with herself in the hot shower while using his soap instead. Then, breakfast arrives.

They eat together. Grey confesses he’s not celibate. They flirt. He admits he would like to bite her lip. She asks why doesn’t he to which he replies, “Because I’m not going to touch you, Anastasia – not until I have your written consent to do so.”

Oh shit!

She wants explanations right away, but he says he needs to show her. After work, he could fly her to Seattle to acquaint her with the facts. She wants to know now, but he says once she’s enlightened, she probably will not want to see him again.  Here is Ana’s wonderful reply to that:

What does that mean? Does he white-slave small children to some godforsaken part of the planet? Is he part of some under-world crime syndicate? It would explain why he’s so rich. Is he deeply religious? Is he impotent? Surely not – he could prove that to me right now.”

Seriously, Ana?  Impotent?  Yeah, and that requires your consent.  The man said earlier if you were his you wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week!  Hmm…I’d say he’s definitely deeply religious, you twit!  And his white-slave children are weeping for you right now!

But she agrees to the date because it involves a flight on his private helicopter! Before they go, she uses his toothbrush because “it’s like having him in my mouth.” Let’s hope not! They leave, and in the elevator Grey growls, “Oh fuck the paperwork!” He grabs her and kisses her, yanks her hair, rubs his member up against her belly. Yep, they finally start gettin’ dirty (page 78)!

Oh my!

He inquires about her brushing her teeth and she confesses to using his toothbrush.  Bet she wouldn’t be able to sit down for two weeks after that had she only signed the papers!


Believe it or not, I’m actually starting to like Mr. Grey as a character here.  His innuendos of showing dominance are really coming through, but poor Ana is just dumb to it all. If this was a B rated horror movie, she’d be the first to die, right after she ran topless and wet in slow motion through the woods while being chased by a chainsaw wielding millionaire wearing a gray suit and who had gray eyes, gray hair, and smelled of expensive bath soap. Please, for the sake of fiction, kill her already!

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