No kiss! Instead, Mr. Grey warns that Ana should stay clear of him. She’s feeling rejected and walks away (without stumbling once I might add). You go girl!
At home, Kate consoles her by telling her not to worry about Grey because she’s a total babe. Is this the same Kate that thought Grey was too dangerous for little miss innocent in the last chapter?! Ana, feeling rejected, studies for her finals.
Finals are done and the girls are gonna celebrate. Kate and Ana are gonna PAR-TAY! Ana’s gonna get drunk (for the first time)! But first, a funny parcel arrives in the mail. Ana didn’t order anything from Amazon! (Insert strategically placed marketing here Mrs. James!) What could it be? Why, it’s a three volume first edition set of Tess of the d’Urbervilles. They arrived with a card with a quote from the book: Ladies know what to guard against, because they read novels that tell them of these tricks.
Kate uses Google to find out they are worth a fortune. Ana knows it must have been Grey and she threatens to send them back. Kate suggests she include a card with a sassy “F–k off!” quote from the book. Wow, Kate did Google help you with that one too?
So, they head to a bar to celebrate, friend José tagging along. Ana gets tipsy on margaritas and decides to switch to beer. For a girl who’s never got drunk before, she’s smart! She heads to the bathroom where, you guessed it, like any girl this day and age she whips out her cell phone to do some drunk texting. Instead, she calls Grey who demands to know where she is because he’s going to come pick her up.
She hangs up and returns to the table. Going out to get some fresh air José follows along and tries to kiss her. Just when José is getting a little too close and freaky, Mr. Grey shows up with his brother and breaks them up, apparently having tracked her cell phone to the bar. And right at that moment, Ana spews. José heads back inside. Mr. Grey takes control of the situation and says he’ll drive Ana home. Ana wants to tell Kate, but Kate is on the dance floor with Mr. Grey’s brother.
So, Mr. Grey buys Kate a glass of water (such the gentleman!) and dances her across the floor! Yeah, cause drunk girls need to dance! Mr. Grey whispers something mysterious to his brother. Ana never gets to talk to Kate, but sees her and the brother are getting close so she worries about if she needs to have a safe sex lecture with Kate. Since she’s not able to talk to her, she hopes that Kate reads one of the safe sex posters she saw in the bathroom. Umm, yeah, cause drunk girls are the first people to worry about whether or not their friends are going to have safe sex.
Ana passes out and the chapter ends with Mr. Grey saying “F–k!” Umm…not tonight pal, Ana read a safe sex poster!
Oh this is sooooo much better than reading the actual book! Thank you for the laughs!!!!
Theresa- Glad you are enjoying it! Sadly, I’m not making any of this up….well not most of it anyway. It’s right from the book!
[…] Chapter 4 […]