No more pants on the ground for Collinsville

Collinsville Illinois outlawed saggy pants this week.  Pants patrol can fine you up to $100 if they see up to 4 inches of your underpants.

Sure, it’s ridiculous and one more distraction to take police away from real crime, but the whole fad of saggy pants is ridiculous too.

I hate when I see guys walking down the street or in the grocery store with their hand on their crotch holding onto their junk to keep their pants up, and they can barely walk anyway because their pants are crumpled at their knees.  When did this sloppy fad even become popular and why?  Just go back to having toothbrushes in your mouth and band aids on your eyebrows.  Sure, that was stupid too, but at least I didn’t have to see the crack of your ass showing and be made aware if you wore boxers or briefs.

I think saggy pants show a lack of intelligence.  Obviously no one ever told you how to put your pants on in the morning.  I’d never hire anyone who came to an interview looking like that.  If you can’t use both your hands to do a job, because one hand is too busy holding onto your pants, then you are worthless.  It’s enough already that I have to hear your cell phone conversations because you are rude and obnoxious and can’t put them away.   Or have to hear your lack of ability to communicate because you talk like you text. But yeah, pull your pants up.

Way to go, Collinsville!  You can expect a surplus in belt sales any day now!


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