I beat myself up on the inside because that’s where I am alone
and I don’t know how to let anyone in
It’s dark and cold, and no place for anyone else anyway
My emotions are painted red, but not like roses
My soul is blue, but not like the summer sky
I cry
Behind dry eyes because you can’t see the tears in here
Though you want to look inside

It is a lie
What you do see out there
This smile fakes what I am feeling
There are no wings to break through
Only glass rooms filled with gloom
And my heart is as heavy as a stone right now

My brain is an anchor
and I am drowning in a sea of sorrow
I cut myself, carving empty words on these walls
But it’s too dark to read
Too dark to see the sun on the outside

The outside
where you are waiting for me
to break free
But only I can tear down these walls
These walls that keep me inside

where I beat myself up

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