Category Archives: Movies

Jul 13 2011

Beastly: Movie Review

Kyle is hot, rich, and self centered.  And these are the perfect qualities in his eyes for being class president.  Kyle gets a wake-up call though when he teases a witch-like girl in his class and she puts a spell on him, turning him into a scarred, tattooed freak.

He has one year to get a girl to genuinely tell him she loves him or he will be cursed with bad looks forever.Kyle goes into hiding and while trying to win over the girl that his heart really yearns for, he also learns a thing or two about inner beauty.

Yeah, it’s a take on the old Beauty and the Beast story, but it works.  I really enjoyed this one.  Alex Pettyfer plays Kyle.  You might recognize him as the lead from I Am Number Four.  He’s good eye candy.  Even when he was the tatted up bald beast, he’s still pretty hot.  Mary-Kate Olsen plays Kendra, the witch, and even she was pretty decent and looked great. Vanessa Hudgens plays Lindy, the girl that Kyle falls for.  She wasn’t bad either.

I really appreciated her character’s back story more than anything.  Her father is a druggie and kills a dealer to save her.  She goes into hiding at Kyle’s house for protection and this is how she gets to know him, though she doesn’t know its really Kyle from her school, a guy that she didn’t really know very well outside is pompous showman attitude.

The real surprise is Neal Patrick Harris, who plays Kyle’s blind tutor.  He offers up quite a bit of humor and since he can’t judge Kyle by his looks, he teaches Kyle that he shouldn’t judge himself in that manner either.

Kyle’s father is a popular news anchor and just as stuck up as his son.  When Kyle becomes cursed, he tucks Kyle away in a penthouse in the city.  It becomes obvious that his father is ashamed of him since he keeps canceling plans with him.  The father quickly falls out of the storyline all together as Kyle concentrates instead on breaking the curse by getting Lindy to love him.  This father/son storyline was probably the weakest part of the movie, and I didn’t really are that it didn’t get wrapped up in the end.

A touch of love.  A touch of whimsey.  Heart. Emotion.  Romance.  The movie has a touch of it all. Its definitely a chick flick though, but good ahem, exposure for Mr. Pettyfer which ain’t bad either!

Even when I'm ugly, I'm hot!

Jul 12 2011

Season of the Witch: Movie Review

When two knights defect from the religious order because they don’t believe God would want them murdering women and children, they are captured by the army in a small town suffering from a horrible plague. They are given orders to take a witch, believed to be responsible for the town’s woes, to a group of monks living off in the mountains.

With another prisoner, a petty thief, as their guide and a few others, they set off with the witch in a cage-like wagon.  They are soon attacked by wolves and the witch escapes.  But even more mystery and danger falls upon the group as they reach the home of the monks and discover who the witch really is.  A battle of good against evil ensues.

Dark special effects and a tad bit of mystery make this a decent movie to watch.  However, the plot lacks a lot of depth.  Most of the characters are useless and you know they are each going to be picked off soon.  The “happy ever after” ending is a bit contrived and predictable.  Nicolas Cage is well, Nicolas Cage, although I did enjoy Ron Perlman in this one. The best overall was probably Claire Foy who plays the unnamed witch.

Since the movie suffers from a lack of plot, its no wonder that the movie is so short.  It all gets wrapped up in just 95 minutes.  A decent rental if there’s nothing better to watch.  Just don’t expect much emotional investment, as it has been with most Cage movies ever since City of Angels.

Apr 25 2011

Water for Elephants ~ Movie Review

I have to admit that Water for Elephants was a decent representation of the book.   Take into consideration that a movie is never going to give you 100% of the book.  That being said, I was disappointed with the parts of the book the movie left out.  There were lots of little details and nuances that just can’t come across on the full screen anyway, although you would have liked to have seen how they would have been portrayed.  Although too numerous to mention and for those who haven’t read the book it wouldn’t matter anyway, the biggest (for those who have read it) would be the comedic scenes that play out with Jacob in the nursing home.  All of those chapters were completely left out.

We open with an old man (Hal Holbrook) wandering into the parking lot of a circus that is packing up and moving out.  A workman comes out to see if he is lost and invites him in out of the rain while the man calls the nursing home.  The old man looks at the old black and white circus photos on the wall and recalls out loud which circuses they are from.  This grabs the worker’s attention and he mentions the Benzini Brothers Circus tragedy from years ago.  The old man says he was there and the worker asks him to tell him about it.  We flash back to a younger gentleman played by Robert Pattinson and the movie is played out as a flashback of the old man’s story.

Although I never would have expected it, Robert Pattinson plays out a perfect Jacob.  That irresistible smile he gets on his face when he’s around the animals definitely lets us connect with Jacob the way we wanted to see him connecting with Rosie the elephant. Perfect choice for the part!

Christoph Waltz was a decent August, the ring master and circus owner.  I pictured someone larger and darker, maybe more Italian looking, when I was reading the book but August’s charm and charisma as a business man, and brutality and harshness as a monster, really made him a different type of character that readers will both appreciate and despise.  We really see him on the verge of snapping and just how quickly it can happen.  There is one scene where he becomes angry with Rosie that really sets that uncomfortable tone you get from him in the book.

Reese was Reese, what can I say.  She’s beautiful to look at, but just not as sexy and alluring as Marlena comes across sometimes in the book.  Still a decent performance from her though and she and Robert make a cute couple.

Speaking of sex, there’s a lot of it in the book including a strip tease tent in the circus. Those scenes are in the movie, but treated with dignity and careful camera angles – obviously allowing this movie its PG13 rating.  It drags in places where we have to witness the slow glances and connections being made between Jacob and Marlena.  August’s discovery of the two is a bit rushed, but after that the action picks up making the last half of the movie pretty solid.  The sad redlighting treatment of circus workers being thrown from the train out of spite and to lighten the financial load is there, balanced with a breathtaking scene of Jacob and August walking across the top of the train in motion.  And then there’s old Rosie, and you can’t help but smile along with Jacob at the gentle beast when she performs or is providing comedic relief.

Non-book readers might find the movie a bit slow at times but will enjoy it overall.  After all, we each have our own favorite circus act, right?  Some book lovers will certainly be disappointed, but if you try hard to approach the movie with a different set of eyes (and lower your expectations just a tad) you will be well entertained.  I know I was.

Apr 24 2011

I’m Batman Times Four

Have you seen these 4 Film Favorite Collections in stores now?  Superman, horror films, Rocky, etc.  And oh yes!  Batman!! And yes, I made J buy this for me for my birthday!  In 1989, I had movie posters adorning my wall, the Hardee’s franchise cups lining my book shelf, Batman rug, Batman shirt, you name it.  Like everyone else, I had Batman fever that year.  I loved Jack as the Joker, adored the Penguin and Catwoman in the second one, and don’t even get me started on Robin and those bat tits and cod piece!

I look back at the films now and analyze them through a different set of eyes.  Burton was dark and brilliant despite Beetlejuice Michael Keaton as Batman.  Jack was overpaid and upstaged Batman.  Schumacher had to be on drugs because his two films were crazy and bright.  Arnold as Mr. Freeze?  Give me a break!

But all in all, these films are fun and a part of pop culture history!  I can sit down and watch them over and over and just have fun.  There are few films like that which I don’t mind seeing again and again no matter how bad the sequels were.

What about you?  What film series are you watching over and over?  Batman? Harry Potter?  Jurassic Park?  Pirates?  Those are all a few of my favs.

Apr 23 2011

Skyline ~ Movie Review

I love Eric Balfour and had forgotten he was even in Skyline. Since the trailers looked promising, I thought Skyline had good potential. And it does when it comes to visual effects. It’s plot and storyline are where it falls short.

Jarrod (Eric) and his girlfriend arrive in California to spend a birthday weekend with a rich friend with a big penthouse apartment in a skyscraper. Our cast quickly dwindles to six – two couples and an assistant, and a building manager. A lazer-like blue light awakens everyone the next morning after the party, and they discover machine-like aliens have come down to Earth. The struggle to stay alive and out of harms way quickly ensues and by now you can already guess who is going to die first.

The special effects and intensity in the scenes is what keeps the movie going. I didn’t really connect with any of the few characters, and that is probably where this movie suffers. Unlike Alien, Independence Day, and other big blockbuster films of the like, our cast is limited to just this handful of people.

In other films, there are usually multiple story lines and conflicts to keep us interested, and everyone unites to fight the evil forces. Here, there is no hope for our couples, oops, make that couple of cast members. When they are the only ones we see fighting the bad guys and their resources are pretty limited, there just isn’t much hope for them.

Before you get too bored with the film, enter the military forces in the form of planes and a few foot soldiers. This makes for some awesome fight scenes and explosions in the air, but that’s about it. The movie almost teases you with a doomed ending that ends up taking you completely by surprise and will have you wondering what the heck you just saw.

You have to wonder how movies like this even get made. Like I said, the special effects and alien lights are brilliant and were probably genius on the big screen, and that’s obviously where the budget of this film when. There’s even one scene where Jarrod and his girlfriend are wounded and have abandoned all hope; they are outside on top of a building.  The camera swirls around them.  As they embrace, you can see the alien crafts and military swarming in a battle in the sky behind them.  With the camera angles, music, and visuals, it’s very dramatic and even breathtaking. But with a blue collar cast which included Donald Faison from “Scrubs” and the mediocre storyline, the film left me wanting more in the end.

Apr 9 2011

The Quest for Narnia continues…

Last night after dinner I decided to go to Target in search of the new Narnia DVD that was released yesterday.  And despite my Target being half empty and completely arranged differently from when I was in there last because they are adding groceries, I was able to find the new movie for $15.99!

I also found the first two movies in the series for just $10 each so I snatched them up.

And on a $5 rack I found a Collectors Edition of Coppola’s Dracula!  Bought it as well.

All in all, I spent $43 for 4 new DVDs and saved $14!  Take that WalMart!

I probably haven’t bought an actual DVD since UnderWorld thanks to Netflix, but there are some movies that I just want to own because I don’t mind popping them in and just letting them play in the background.  If they are on the TV, I can sit and watch them at any part.  A few such movies are the Jurassic Park movies, the UnderWorld series, and Harry Potter.  Narnia will be the same way, although I’ve only seen the second one once and I don’t really remember that much about it.

Gary Oldman as Dracula was just brilliant, and that’s another film that always sticks out in the back of my mind as one I’d like to see again, and now I can.

J and I watched the new Narnia last night and I was well pleased. While there aren’t as many talking animals in this one, there’s still enough magic and whimsy and action to keep you entertained. Having never read the books, I couldn’t remember why the two older children weren’t in this one, but the introduction of a snooty cousin provided a great deal of humor and a surprise in the end.

So, what movies do you own that you enjoy watching again and again?

 

Apr 8 2011

The Chronicles of Walmartia

Once upon today in the time before work, I stopped in the land of Walmartia to buy the new Narnia DVD that was just released this very day. Sadly, I did not see Narnia on the sales floor. I stopped to ask a buxomy cashier by the name of Sista if she could direct me to Narnia.

She called upon a fat CSM troll who called Gonzo the stockboy elf to locate Narnia in the enchanted stock room for me. Gonzo did not know what Narnia was, but alas, Sista informed him it was a DVD with a lion on it. While waiting for Gonzo to return, I searched the sales floor for the first two Narnia DVDs, but I could not find them. I returned to Sista to ask her if they had them. She informed me they were “Somewhere out there in the DVD section.” I thought that’s where I had just looked, so I looked again but to no avail, could not find them.

Twenty minutes had passed and I assumed Gonzo was searching the stockroom for an actual lion because he had not yet returned. I was already growing angry enough to turn into a white witch, anxious to conjure up some goblins to attack Sista, eager to search out Gonzo and turn him into stone. I wanted to fly away to Sam Walton’s grave and screech to the high heavens, calling upon the beasts of Walmartia who make minimum wage and have no benefits, asking them shall they show me no mercy!!

Instead, I rushed out of the store and got in my car and went to work. Remind me again why I even bother shopping at WalMart??

Feb 15 2011

RED ~ Movie 5 of 2011

RED is one of those movies where you aren’t really given a direct story line to follow up front.  You sort of have to piece it together as you go along.  And as the layers to the plot are discovered, you have a good laugh and lots of fun and surprises along the way.

Bruce Willis plays Frank Moses, an ex CIA agent whose file has been stamped RED – Retired, Extremely Dangerous.  He lives a quiet life on a quiet street, ripping up his pension check just so he can call in and speak to the lovely Sarah Ross (Mary-Louise Parker) at the Pension office.  They talk about books and traveling, and then Frank’s house gets shot up by the bad FBI guys.  Frank kicks butt and gets the heck out of there.

After picking up Sarah, who might find herself in trouble with the CIA just for talking to him, he sets out to find why he’s suddenly become a target.  Along the way, he reconnects with some old, but deadly, colleagues played by Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, and Helen Mirren. Together, they find out the black-ops are out to kill a list of people who were present in Guatemala when the now Vice President committed war crimes.  With his plan to run for President, he needs to get rid of some dirty laundry, and Frank’s name is on the laundry list.

John Malkovich is superb as a crazed gunman who fears everyone is out to get him – the government, the web, the satellites, the helicopters flying over. The government tests involving daily injections of LSD back in the day didn’t help much!  The gun chases are over the top hilarious thanks to John, his big guns, and classic one liners!

Morgan Freeman is…well, Morgan Freeman who never disappoints.  But Helen Mirren, a bread-and-breakfast flowering arranging, meal planning, elder is also a deadly assassin who loves to kill people.  She’s also in love with their Russian adversary who has always wanted to kill a U.S. President, played by highly versatile Brian Cox.

This is a movie not intended to be taken too seriously.  The big guns and big explosions often had me laughing out loud at times because the characters take the action very seriously, and you can’t help but laugh at the old Western-like face offs. See this movie for the unbelievable cast, and for its hilarity.

Bruce Willis followers won’t be disappointed, although Bruce’s character is a bit reserved this time. There’s not a lot of classic emotional connection in the storyline between you and the characters or with between the characters themselves, but that’s okay.  You’ll still walk away like you’ve just had a great day at an amusement park.

I’d give it 4 stars for entertainment value, 4 stars for action, and 3 stars for writing and plot.

Feb 8 2011

The Social Network ~ Movie 4

Being a Facebook junkie for well over a year now, I was anxious to see the movie even though I pretty much knew Mark Zuckerberg’s story from other news interviews and such. It definitely helps to know a bit of that too as you dive into this movie because right from the start your thrown into the night that Mark created facemash.com which was the precipice to the launch of the now billion dollar social network.

Jesse Eisenberg does an amazing job as a quick tongued Harvard geek not yet exuding the confidence that we see in Mark in interviews today. I laughed out loud seeing Mark blogging on LiveJournal in the beginning of the movie.  I had an LJ account to back then but left it for WordPress because unlike many, I’m still a blogger these days.  I microblog on Twitter and Facebook too if that’s what you call it.

As the story goes, Mark is approached by the over confident and rich Winklevoss twins who want to launch a social network for Harvard students.  Mark teams up with them and agrees to be their coder, but somewhere along the way he runs with the idea and makes it better.  Yeah, maybe he did steal the premise and made it better.  Good lawyers helped the Winklevoss get a 65 million dollar settlement for Mark’s intellectual theft, if that’s what you want to call it.

Mark also turned on his best friend, Eduardo Saverin, who had 30% holdings on Facebook when Mark made him CFO.  Eduardo had good intentions to launch advertising space on FB, but he lacked connections so Mark swindled him out of his holdings thanks to some legal mumbo jumbo that Eduardo signed without reading.  And at that time, Mark wasn’t so keen on the idea.  People hate online ads, right?

It took Sean Parker, creator of Napster, to convince Mark to go global and see the dollar signs. Justin Timberlake played a good money grubbing pompous druggie dripping with sex and confidence, but if you have ever seen the real Sean Parker in an interview, he’s nothing like that.  The real Parker admitted about the movie that he wished his life was that cool. Parker stepped in with the ad revenue connections and was given 6% holdings.  Eduardo settled out of court for a lump sum probably larger than what the Winklevoss twins got. By now, like they say in the film, that was just a traffic ticket to Zuckerberg.

The characters, the storylines, and the hefty settlements are all true – the entire basis for the story and where Mark was when.  By now you probably know its the conversations and turn of events that are fictional.  Heck, haven’t we all seen movies “based on a true story” that weren’t even close.  Who cares?  It’s the gritty fast paced edge to the film that keeps it interesting.  Face it, do we really care how a twenty-something year old Harvard geek became the world’s youngest billionaire?  It’s a newsworthy story, yes, and most of us, almost all of us, are hooked on his social networking drug.

As the movie bounces in and out of legal meetings, we get lots of sarcastic one liners from Mark.  The twins fight back with the chips on their shoulders.  Eduardo hangs his head in shame at the loss of a friend.  The movie definitely deserves the Oscar attention its getting.  It’s different.  It’s fresh.  And if you are on Facebook, then make it some required viewing.  It’s worth the time away from the computer.

Feb 4 2011

Let Me In – Movie 3 of 2011

The cover of the DVD quotes Stephen King as saying this is “the best American horror film in the last 20 years.”  Too bad it’s really an American remake of the Swedish film Let The Right One In.  If you haven’t seen the original and don’t like movies with subtitles, don’t worry.  The American remake will suffice for you.  It’s the eerily slow tempo and oddities of both films that really make you shiver.  It’s the story of a lonely young boy, the victim of bullies at his school, who befriends a young female vampire who moves in next door in his apartment complex.  They both give each other a bit of confidence, despite the consequences a friendship between them could cause.

The differences between the two films are probably numerous to some who have obsessed over them, but as far as the storyline goes, they are pretty much the same.  Obviously, there’s a bit of emotion lost from having to read the subtitles which non-Swedish speaking Americans will get to enjoy in this film.  But it’s not all about the dialogue.  There are long bouts of scary silence in both films where you don’t always want to know what’s happening (but you do), and you don’t need someone talking to tell you. The two lonely friends sitting outside in the snow on a jungle gym beneath the yellow security light plays on our emotions just as much as seeing Owen, the young boy, get picked on by his bullies.

Since I’ve seen both films, I’m going to tell you what I liked better about the Americanized version.  First, I didn’t mind the lack of Owen’s father in the movie.  His scenes are brief in the original, but not really needed for anything other than to establish his parents are separated but Owen still has a relationship with both.  The lack of a father figure in his life is not really the reason Owen is such a weak character that always gets picked on at school.  Again, dialogue quickly establishes that his parents are getting divorced.  There’s only a phone call to his father in the remake, where he reaches out to him to ask if there is such a thing as evil.

I also thought Abby’s caregiver played much more of a part in this film and we really got to see his conflict play out.  There are differences in his “killing” scenes in both films, but the reason behind them is the same.  In the remake, however, we see that the victims live in the same apartment complex and Owen knows who they are by watching them through a telescope in his bedroom window.

All in all, it’s not a bad remake.  Like I said, if you haven’t seen the Swedish version, you won’t be missing anything.  The dynamic and sadness of both films is definitely there, even the bizarre ending which you’d never expect.  The one thing that I didn’t like about the remake though was Owen asking Abby if she was a vampire.  I also didn’t like the scenes where we got to see her face after she had fed and her appearance and eyes had become more monster-like.  NOT seeing this sort of teases your mind and increases the intensity, and while Abby doesn’t answer Owen’s question, there was no need to establish what she was.  What’s more important is that Owen doesn’t care about that.  He only cares about her friendship.

Definitely worth a watch if you have not (or even have) seen the original, or if you enjoy a “good” vampire flick.  I agree with King that it’s one of the best horror films lately.  Too bad it’s not really ours.