This chapter contains perhaps THE BEST LINE in the whole book, but we’ll get to that. First…
Christian comes over in jeans and a leather jacket with a bottle of champagne. No riding crop. Since all the glasses have been packed, they drink pink champagne from tea cups.
Ana points out the books she wants to give back to him, and she kind of breaks his heart a bit. Awww, poor Mr. Grey. Come here and let me console you. Bad, Ana! Bad! Bad! She says if he won’t take the books back then she’ll donate them to one of his favorite charities so they can auction them off. Have some more champagne, Ana.
He says he wants to buy her things because he can afford it! She says it makes her feel cheap. Okay, Christian, forget her. I’ll let you buy me something!
They sit down to discuss the hard and soft limits on the contract and this conversation happens…
“No fisting, you say. Anything else you object to?” he asks softly.
I swallow. (yeah, we knew that already)
“Anal intercourse doesn’t exactly float my boat.”
(Get ready for it…best line ever coming up….)
“I’ll agree to the fisting, but I’d really like to claim your ass, Anastasia. But we’ll wait for that. Besides it’s not something we can dive into.” He smirks at me. “Your ass will need training.”
Her ass isn’t something they can dive into!!! Could have fooled me! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Next, we have a conversation about butt plugs. Ana asks if it does what it says on the box. How would she know what it says on the box? It says rinse and repeat, Ana, that’s what you do with a butt plug!
Next, we talk about the bondage stuff, gags, restraints, you know…the usual stuff. All pretty vanilla compared to ass fisting and butt plugs, don’t you think?
Next, it’s spanking and clamps and punishment. She nixes genital clamps, and he says that’s okay because it’s the canes that hurt more!
Then, we go outside to see what Mr. Grey bought her for graduation.
Mr. Grey wants to do it on the hood of the car, but instead they go inside and he lets her take control a bit. She fumbles putting a condom on. Insert “girth” comments here.
They do it. Next chapter.
Apparently, the reader isn’t the only one blushing, but E.L. James ran out of good words to use on Ana. In this chapter, it appears to be food references for blushing. Imagine that! Ana thaws. Ana blanches. Ana swallows. Ana heats up to 350 degrees and bakes for 45 minutes.
I was really hoping for the car hood sex scene though. Damn you, E.L. James, you tease!