Monthly Archives: November 2010

Nov 28 2010

What books I’m NOT going to read next year…

I blog so much about what I’m reading, and last night I thought about books I’m not going to read next year – and so here I am blogging about them.

I started by deciding not to read Decision Points by George Bush.  It was the first, most recent book to come to mind that I have no desire to read. Sarah Palin came to mind next, but I can pretty much rule out any political book so I don’t want to bog down my NOT Reading list with politics!  So, what would I not read next?

I decided to use Amazon.com’s handy tagging system where readers are allowed to tag books with keywords to help people find books related in the same subject matter.  Bush’s book was tagged with helpful keywords like idiot, worst president ever, true crime, lies, unfit for office, how to ruin your country, and how I got them all wrong (?), my pet goat, great man (Ha!), all hat no cattle, awol, douche bag, moron, republican, revisionist history, torture (the man or the book?), clear thinking, folklore, pass, good people, one star people, not what I expected, tarp, pretzel, democra (?), deserter, fiction, American idiot,  hot, hooker, coke, clap, deflower, knocker, and nuts.

Okay, so I made those last seven up.  But you get the idea.  Clearly, some intelligent people labeled this book with over 500 useful tags to help readers like me discover new books I’m never going to read.  So, I decided to click on “douche bag” to see where it would take me! Besides an actual Mabis Douche Bag, and a book called Hot Chicks With Douche Bags, and Jersey Shore on DVD, I came across a lovely piece of literature called Assholes Finish First written by Tucker Max.  Doesn’t that name just scream gay porn star?  Here’s the full production description, which is quite detailed I might add:

Assholes Finish First is Tucker Max’s deliciously dirty collection of twenty-five true tales of sex, girls, and wildly entertaining depravity.

And here’s information about the author:

Tucker Max received his BA with highest honors from the University of Chicago in 1998, and attended Duke Law School on an academic scholarship, where he graduated with a JD in 2001. His first book, “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell,” is a #1 NY Times Best Seller, has spent over 150 weeks on the NY Times Best Seller List over five calendar years, and has sold over 1 million copies. He has also been credited with being the originator and leader of the literary genre, “fratire,” and was nominated to Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential List in 2009. He currently lives in Austin, Texas, and can be reached through his website, TuckerMax.com.

Wow!  I bet his Mom is proud.

Tucker’s classic led me to another book that Amazon suggested I take a look at because readers often buy it together with Tucker’s books.  It’s called Russell Brand & Katy Perry: The Love Story. It came out in June of this year, and has only received 1 review to date, but it is a 5 star review.  Reading the review instantly convinced me that this is another  book I’m definitely NOT going to read next year. The review was written by someone who calls themselves “Tstash.”  Besides the Russell and Katy review, Tstash has only written one other review.  It was for the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser which sells for $19,999 on Amazon, so you know her words are golden. Here’s some of Badonkadonk, I mean Tstash’s prose about Branderry The Love Story:

Not since ‘The Notebook’ has any book touched me so deeply–that is, until now…

I was up late many, many nights reading this great piece of literature that’s surely destined to be a classic. I was going to lend it to my sister to read but just can’t part with it so I bought her a copy of her own. I know I will reread mine over and over.

If you are like me and don’t have a life, you need to get this book. You will not regret it. I can’t recommend it enough.

At least she’s (he?) honest!

The Russel & Katy book surprisingly led me to a book that was self-published back in 2008 by MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG and the book is called Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!! Yes, that is the title and the book is over 600 pages long and written all in CAPITAL LETTERS!  And the book sells for $136.00.  Despite my temptation, and that gorgeous book cover, this is definitely not a book I’m going to read next year either.  For more fun, go to this book’s page and check out the other photos people have uploaded to its page, or check out the other items Amazon suggests you buy along with it!  I’m not making this stuff up, folks.

So, from here I got lost in the Deer Rear, Hander Pants, and Fresh Whole Rabbit that I found on this book’s page (more excellent suggestions to buy with Eliyzabeth’s book), so I guess this concludes my list of books I’m NOT going to read next year.

What are you not reading?

Nov 27 2010

2011 To-Read Stack Begun!

I said I wasn’t going to set a reading goal for next year.  Last year it was 25. Check!  This year it was 30! Check! (I’m currently at 38 books for the year.)

But the Christmas decorating today forced me to clean up the book shelf, which made me start a to-read stack of books, although the bottom one is a blank journal – another resolution I’d like to start after watching Remember Me this weekend!

Most of these books in this small stack have been on the shelf for a while.  I either opted to read something else and forgot about them, or they just kept getting pushed further and further back.  Not anymore!  It’s the small stack to get my year started!  These are also in no particular order I might add.  And I’ll probably read at least one of them this year to round out December, AND I’m going to finish Hellhound on His Trail on my Ipod to end the year at an even 40.

I average about 2 books a month if they are 300 or less pages, and there will be 10 in this stack after I read one this year.  Some of these are pretty thick too.  So, at 2 a month that puts me through next May.  Except…Bleggh! Damn you Brad Gooch and Frank Anthony Polito for making your books 400 plus pages.  What were you thinking!?  Just kidding!!  After all, you made the short stack!  And both books have gotten rave reviews, so yes, I’m gonna read ‘em.

Now, I’m off to finish the Modern Library Christmas collection of Truman Capote – it’s only 108 pages, so nya nya boo boo!  ;-P

 

Nov 26 2010

A Year of Pi(e)

After having so much fun baking Wednesday night, I’ve decided to take on a new challenge next year.  I’m calling it A Year of Pie!  I’m going to search out 12 recipes and bake a new pie each month starting in January.  I’ll post the recipes and pics here on my site.  I like pie, but have never been much for baking them in the past.  My Mom still makes the best Lemon Icebox pie ever!  She also used to make Pecan Pie and Chocolate Pie.  But I think the art of pie making has been lost due to time, years past, or the fact that we can just buy one at the store.

Besides pumpkin pie, I also made a cheesecake Wednesday night with cranberry and pecan topping.  It was quite yummy! Yeah, not really a pie although it was made in a premade pie crust. Here’s a pic of it:

So, do you have any suggestions for pies you’d like to see me seek out and bake?  If so, post them here!   Otherwise, check back in January for round 1 of my Year of Pie challenge!

Nov 24 2010

Oh, there will be pie! Yes, there will be pie!

I baked a pumpkin pie again this year, instead of buying store bought.  I was in the mood to bake.  I was in the mood to bake so much that I came home from work today and baked a pumpkin pie and then turned around and put a cheesecake in the oven.  Yes, you read it right.  Two desserts baked in one night!  Here’s my pumpkin pie fresh from the oven just minutes ago…

Ain’t she pretty?  And while it was in the oven, our neighbor knocked on the door and gave us a homemade pumpkin pie!

So…J gets up tomorrow morning and will put a turkey in the oven.  He will make stuffing.  He will make a greenbean casserole.  He’ll make mashed potatoes and gravy.

But tonight….I’m making pies, people!  I’m making pies!!

Nov 13 2010

Only 4 Days Old and Already Going Strong…

Thanks to everyone who has already been buying copies of my new book this week!

As of this post my new baby has a sales rank of #15,243 in books at Amazon.com.

Would love to see it keep rising!  Wanna help?  Just click on the cover to buy your copy today!

Yes, this book does take place at Christmas, so it’s the perfect time of year to read it.  But this book is not really a holiday book, so don’t think that you can’t read it any other time of the year.  That’s why I also purposely strayed away from giving the book cover a winter holiday feel as I had originally planned.

Any questions?  If so, post them as a comment on this entry.

Thanks for reading!

Nov 11 2010

Reading Goal Update for 2010

I’ve now passed my reading goal for the year by 5 books!  How awesome is that?  I’ve read 35 books this year so far.  My goal was just 30. And I still have over a month to go.  Dare I make it to 40?  Probably not, unless I read some really short books next month.  We’ll see… I’ve got a few books in mind that won’t take as long.  ;-)

For a complete list of all the books I read during 2010, check out my list over at Amazon.

Nov 10 2010

It’s here! Buy my book! Please!

It’s finally here! And just in time for Christmas! That’s right!  As of today, my new book, Are You Sitting Down?, is available for purchase.  Just click here!  For those who are Amazoniacs, it should be available there in a few days, but you can download it for your Kindle right now!

A rape victim raising a biracial baby. A drug addict haunted by a dead girlfriend. A homosexual mourning a dead lover. A teacher having an affair with his student. And a businesswoman sexually harassed by her boss. What do they all have in common? They all sit at Lorraine White’s holiday dinner table; they are also her children.

But Lorraine’s children are not the only ones in the family dealing with ghosts of the past. This is the first Christmas the Whites have spent together since the death of their father. And it very well could be their last, as arguments ensue, secrets are revealed, and perhaps a murderer walks among them.

In his latest novel, Yarbrough explores the damaged soul of one small town family and breaks through the boundaries of love, convincing his readers that no matter how hard life gets, sometimes the support of family is the only true foundation we have left to depend upon – whether we want to or not.

“Yarbrough weaves the lives of a band of disparate characters into a rich tapestry complete with death, secrets, and murder, tied up with a Christmas bow.” -LK Gardner-Griffie, author of the Misfit McCabe series

“A true-to-life portrait of a modern American family. You’ll find pieces of your own life in this gritty, moving story.” -R.J. Keller, author of Waiting for Spring