This week I’ve been reading Wayne Courtois’s book, A Report from Winter which is where the title of this post comes from. It’s a story about a gay man who returns home to deal with the passing of his mother. The story itself is pretty good. More about the book later when I post a review of it this weekend.
The story got me to thinking about how sometimes our life gets interrupted when we have to deal with certain long term or short term situations that need our attention, and sometimes it’s hard to imagine getting back to the way things were. Eventually, the situation comes to an end or maybe the inevitable happens (that loved one in hospice passes on), and it’s all over. We feel somewhat lost. The “pause” button on everything else has been pushed again and we have to move on.
I feel that way right now in my life. Thankfully, I’m not having to deal with a sick loved one. My situation has more to do with my professional life. The “back to school” season is a busy time for me at work and starts right after Independence Day. This year, I’ve also had to face the task of training two brand new people in our department at the same time. I love to train (should have gone ahead and become a teacher), so I was up for the task.
But training two people definitely had its challenges. One started two weeks after the other, so I tried desperately to get them caught up with one another and on the same track. Unfortunately, I still had to spend individual time with each of them to train them on the phones because our systems won’t allow two people to listen in at the same time, so the one who started earlier was released from my attention and went live on her own before the other did. This week, my second trainee went live on her own. Add on top of the training, emails piling up, phones ringing off the wall, orders to be keyed, and all of the other things I’d normally be responsible for during our busy season. It’s literally been like two months of the retail Christmas season, but it’s still not over yet. Things don’t die down till the middle of September, so we still have about three weeks to go.
With my second trainee going live on her own this week, it felt like now I sort of got to go back to doing whatever I was doing before. But I don’t even remember what that was or where I was before the rush season started. So it’s been an odd week and odd transition for me as my trainees leave the nest. It’s like being at graduation and wondering what the heck you are supposed to do now that this is over.
It’s hard to imagine that in August 2007 I actually started writing a book and finished it in December. You may remember I wrote two books that year, but only one of those books has been published so far. Last year, I devoted my off time to the book review blog I had created last year, and to promoting my own book which was published in June. This year, after work I’ve come home in almost a comotose state from the busy day and not been able to do anything except play Farmtown on Facebook. Isn’t that sad? Farmtown was my six pack of beer, my bag of candy, my sad guilty pleasure to wash away the worries and stresses a busy day at work created. All this month I picked up books and tried to read them but nothing could hold my attention. I tried to write something, but the words just weren’t coming out. I was creatively constipated! You might even notice my little blog here didn’t even get much attention.
But here I am now writing this long post, the longest I’ve written in a while. And I’ve been reading this week and the book is keeping my attention. And the clouds are moving out of the way and suddenly I feel the need to be creative again. So, it’s nice to see one job done and the rush season dying down already although I find it impossible to believe it already almost September. Where did the last 2 months go? So, as my head clears and the creative juices start flowing, I’m excited to see what Autumn holds for me this time. But this week, as that happens, I’ve been lost. Someone or something has pushed my pause button and life is catching up again. My heart is racing. My blood is pumping. I’m being pulled in every direction I can think of. And I’m not sure, just yet. how to react. But through all that, I do feel like I can breathe again. I’m not holding in and waiting for the stress to subside. There’s a release, and I can feel it.
It feels good.