Monthly Archives: April 2008

Apr 16 2008

PODdy Mouth Headed for The Toilet?

Angela Hoy over at Writer’s Weekly has put a bounty on PODdy Mouth, offering to pay $500 for her true identity.  Angela, owner of the POD service known as Booklocker, is mad at PODdy for posting false information on her blog about Booklocker and other POD Publishers.

This is going to be just as fun as all the bad publicity Amazon has been getting lately over their POD monopoly.

Apparently, PODdy doesn’t have much to say and has even blacklisted Angela from posting responses on PODdy’s blog.  Read all about it over at Preditors and Editors.

Apr 16 2008

More support on rejection…

Thanks to Cliff Burns and Paisley and Plaid on their feedback.  Paisley’s site gives a list of other authors who were once rejected and went on to achieve great fame.

Cliff’s advice is definitely some I’ve already taken into consideration.  I’ve done my homework.  I picked a handful of agents (mostly from agentquery.com) who handled my style of writing.  Dare I say it…I bought a copy of The Writer’s Market this year.  I haven’t bought one of those since high school, but I was able to get one for a buck this year by signing up with QPB again.  I also bought a subscription to The Writer magazine this year hoping it will keep me motivated.

Even with all of these steps and all of my determination, I do accept the fact that I still may never be published traditionally.  If so, I guess I’d go down the self-publishing path again.  All of this reminds me of a PostSecret postcard I recently came across.  It said…

Salary for teaching creative writing……$32,452.00

Salary for writing creatively…….$0.00

Apr 15 2008

REJECTED!

I know it sounds funny to say I was excited to have a rejection letter in my email box today, but I got one from one of those two agents I said I queried over the weekend.  It was a nice polite rejection letter that actually said “Dear Ms. Yarbrough.”  Um, yeah, I’m not a Ms. but that’s okay.  With a name like Shannon, it’s not the first time.  According to my junk mail, I’ve been married widowed and divorced.

It came from the agent’s assistant.  He wished me good luck, said my book wasn’t a match for them, and signed his name and tag.  They used capitalization and punctuation too. Wow!  Probably a form letter, but at least it wasn’t…

sorry, this one ain’t for me

Oh well, next week I’m investing in envelopes and killing some trees to mail out those dreaded queries to the agents with computers made of sticks and mud.  YAY!  Anyone wanna come over and help stuff envelopes?

Apr 15 2008

Two More Paintings

Two more paintings finished this week for the upcoming Alabama show.  I have two more to go and then I’ll be ready to ship them off!  YAY!

These have been a lot of fun to paint and I think I want to concentrate more on painting just one thing in the painting and do more.

Apr 15 2008

32 Flavors and Then Some

Only 5 days left till my 32nd birthday. My Dad’s 67th birthday is tomorrow. I’m making a quick trip home this weekend to celebrate both our birthdays, something I’ve done for several years now. I used to cook for my Mom’s and my Dad’s birthday, but several years ago it was brought to my attention that Dad didn’t like my cooking. So ever since then, it’s been hamburgers and french fries cooked up by my sister. Mom still likes for me to cook for her though in September, well, I think she does. She says she does, but you know how Moms are. Maybe everyone really hates my cooking and they are just being nice?? (shrugs)

Mom is cooking for my birthday on Sunday, and I do truly love her cooking. I think she’s making spaghetti, a favorite of mine. And there will probably be an ice cream cake from DQ. Speaking of cake, I have to either buy one or bake one to take to work on Friday. Our department rule is that you bring your own cake on your birthday, or you can bring whatever you want. Everyone outside of work laughs at this and thinks it’s retarded, but how many times have you been in an office situation where someone was in charge of birthdays and someone’s birthday was forgotten? Or someone got a bigger cake than someone else because everyone likes them more anyway? Well, my department makes you bring your own cake so that you can have whatever you want. One girl brought a fruit tray one year because she was on a strict diet. I took cupcakes for a year or two. But this Friday, I think I will bake a cake! I like to joke that you have to bring your own card too for everyone to sign.

Let it be said that I hate cards…cards that are handed to you anyway. Sure, I buy them and give them just like anyone else, but I much prefer to get them in the mail. I never know if I should keep the card or throw it away. I never look back on them, so I should probably just throw them away. I’ve been keeping Xmas cards for years which I say I’m going to cut up and use for name tags or something.

My cubicle at work will also be littered with tacky decorations when I come in on Friday, a custom I’ve had to do myself for my boss after the poor person went home the day before. It’s like playing Santa but leaving bad gifts…shiny birthday signs and twisted crepe paper, cake cut outs and blow horns and big sign that says The Party’s Here. You sit there all day on the phone under the curtain of glitter and glam and everyone that walks by says Happy Birthday. The attention is nice, I guess, although everyone tries to look all humble. I don’t really care about my birthday anymore. It’s no biggie to me, cake or not. It is nice to just celebrate and have other’s who think of you and pass a card around for everyone to sign, I guess.

But sometimes I wonder about others. Is there someone cooking for them later that evening? Or when we all get up and sing to them and they blow out the one candle we stick in whatever they brought for us to it, is that it for them? Do they sit beneath the rainbow of decor and relish those who stop to greet them, because maybe once they leave work there isn’t anyone else who cares enough about that? Sounds sad, I know.

So maybe I do care about birthdays. It’s the one holiday you can ignore like any other, but we can’t change the fact that we all get a year older.

Blah!

Apr 14 2008

Checking Myself Out! The woes of bad customer service!

So what type of shopper are you? After years of working in retail, I know them all. There’s “Just looking, leave me alone, I’ll come to you when I need you and you better help me then,” shopper. There’s the “I’m just here with my wife because she made me come” shopper. There’s “Oh my god I’m at the mall and you should see what they have on sale, and what are you wearing to the dance on Friday,” talking on the cell phone shopper. There’s the creepy lurking silent “I might steal something” shopper. The list goes on and on…

I’m usually the quiet and polite “Just looking. Please don’t come up and give me a sales pitch,” type. Case in point…J and I were at the mall yesterday doing another undercover swap. Not really, but it seems that way. He loves cell phones and had met someone on Craigslist who wanted to trade their new phone for his…yada yada yada….I don’t even own a cell phone but those of you who do will probably get this. So, we’ve met people twice at the mall lobby to trade phones before. It always makes me laugh because it’s like, “go to the mall and stand in the lobby and wait for Fat Tony. You’ll know him when you see him. If not, he’ll know you.”

J was content in waiting in the car because we were there 30 minutes early. I decided to kill time by going in and perusing the Walden Books. Okay, I’m guilty. I know I always preach about saving your local bookstore. But here I am in Walden books checking out the covers of all kinds of titles, and I didn’t buy a single one. I made mental notes of a ton of stuff so I could go home and see if I could get them any cheaper on line. We all do it, don’t we? I rarely pay full price for a book these days thanks to internet shopping. Yeah, yeah, I know…I have to wait and pay shipping and by buying it in the store, I’m paying someone’s salary. But here’s my point…

I like an establishment where the employee might say hi or ask if I need assistance, but then walks politely away when I tell them I’m just looking. Or maybe they give me their name and tell me they’ll be right over there if I do need anything. In retail, I was always taught that every customer at least gets a greeting. 9 out of 10 customers don’t want to come to you and bother you so they wait around to be approached. Well, that’s not me but I’d been waiting all day in this store if I did do that. Not a single person said hello or even approached me. One employee even said excuse me to walk in front of me down an aisle, but no how are you or can I help you find anything or squat.

I probably would not have bought anything anyway, but it’s at least nice for someone to ask me if I need assistance. I hate being invisible. But good service is hard to find these days, believe me. We went to Michael’s craft store also yesterday, and had to ask the cashier where something was while we were checking out because there was no one on the floor to ask. The “I make 5 dollars an hour and don’t know where shit is” teeny bop cashier told us, “If we carry that it’ll be on the floor and everything is out.” Well, guess what? We don’t know where on the floor it is and saying everything is out just means you don’t want to have to go check the stockroom!

At Petco yesterday, it’s pretty much the same story. Ten minutes to closing time and all we need is a bag of dogfood and not one person on the floor even says hello even though we didn’t need help. We knew exactly where it was and got in, got it, and went to the front. But the 18 year old cashier is too busy having a conversation with the other cashier to even say hello. She checks us out like some robot. We’d been better off going through a self-checkout lane.

Which is exactly what we did at Lowes! We bought 3 things which we had trouble finding, but we did find them all on our own. Not a single person on the floor asked us if we needed help, and I saw plenty of them in their red vests. I always think of that silly Lowes commercial where the people are greeted immediately upon walking in the door. Hell, I’ve hunted employees down before only to be told they don’t work in that department, but then they don’t offer to get someone who does! So, we went through the self checkout lane and did it all by ourselves contently while some blond chick at the end of the aisle said “have a nice day” when we left. Geez, I wonder how much they pay her?

So, what kind of shopper am I? I must be an old fogy whose behind in the times because God knows good service these days is completely gone. I’m the shopper who says, “Screw you store. If you can’t train your employees to be friendly and knowledgeable, then I’ll go home and turn on my computer and shop on line.” I’d rather deal with shipping charges then to go in your store and feel like a guest at a party who no one is going to speak to. Why were you sales down 1st quarter? What’s up with the Economy? You can blame retailers for that. They might as well fire all their employees and install nothing but self-check out lanes up front because no one is going to help you anyway. Go get your shit and bring it to the front and check yourself out. With all the money they save because they don’t have to pay people to stand there and look pretty, their sales will be through the roof.

That’s why I have no qualms about taking my $200 cart full of groceries through the self check out lane. Yeah, it’s the grocery store where no one is expected to help you anyway. So, why should they check me out too. I’ll do that myself. I’ll pay you myself. I’ll bag my stuff myself. I’ll put it in my car all by myself. Send the pimply faced teens back home to play video games and mooch off Mommy and Daddy because their work ethic sucks! If employers can’t teach you quality skills to make you a better person and a better worker, then no one can.

(steps off soap box and goes shopping ON THE INTERNET)

Apr 13 2008

The Great Game of Waiting: Querying Agents

Yeah, yeah, I’m back to the subject of querying agents again. Here’s why.

Last night I went through a stack of papers, files, and magazines on my desk and found two files dedicated to my query letters: one for rejections and one for agent profiles I’ve queried and am waiting on a response from.  There are 15 profiles in my “waiting” file, most dated two months ago this weekend.  Ahh, the great game of waiting for a reply.  I don’t think I received any in March.  Some say they’ll reply in six weeks.  Some say they reply only if interested.  Some may have accidentally deleted my email, or their tough spam blocker sent me into a questionable file that they only sort through once a year.

I’ve been a regular visitor to some agent blogs this year, some who I have queried and some who I have not, to gain useful insight on what they are looking for, what makes a good query letter, and other helpful tips which I’ve definitely taken note of.  I’m amazed at a few of the agents who constantly say, “Query me first!”  They open the email gates wide and want the first opportunity.  Then, they complain when they are overwhelmed with bad queries who didn’t follow the rules, attached files to emails, used nonprofessional lingo, or used a cookie cutter letter which they then copied a dozen agents on. I don’t know who is at fault really….the agent for putting themselves in that position in the first place or the author who obviously didn’t heed the advice they were given?  Maybe a little of both.

I also have to chuckle at the agents who constantly brag at how many partials they requested in a week, or how quickly deals were made and six digit advances were handed out.  They offer a glimmer of hope to those of us who are waiting in the wings, a nice dangling carrot perhaps.  One agent rejected me in less than five minutes after emailing my query with a six word rejection letter (if you can even call that a letter).  They didn’t even type their name or my name on it.  Weeks later on their blog they said they give careful consideration to every query they receive and that they always send out a nice form letter.  Yeah, it’s a form letter but it’s very professional.

WHAT?  I got six words with no “Dear Shannon.”  I don’t even think there was a period at the end of the sentence, if it even was a sentence.  They didn’t even put their name on it at the end!  Yeah, that’s professionalism.  Heck, here’s my cell number…why don’t you just text me your rejection?  TNFM, SS, CYA, LOL!  Might I add that this agent is not listed in my blogroll!!

But I’m not bitter.

So, instead, I’m back to querying.  I sent two more off last night. Back to putting myself out there.  Let the rejection letters cometh….please!  Or the six digit advances….whichever you prefer….(fingers crossed).

By the way, thank the technological Gods for this century where we can actually email agents and get a reply back the same way!  Thank you agents for joining us during the computer age! While searching agentquery.com, I’m amazed at the number of agents who still want mailed queries only.  Geez….I have to go buy envelopes, and postage, and paper, and ink, and kill trees, and burn gas.  Why don’t I break out the Royal typewriter, crawl into a cave with my cheetah print toga on, chew on some dino bones, and get busy?!?  Hmmm…maybe I’ll just paint my query on the wall of the cave with my own feces and wait for archaeologists to find it!

Nah, even then it would still get rejected!

Apr 12 2008

The Other Side of Kindle

I’m happy to announce my first book, The Other Side of What, will soon be available as a downloadable ebook on the Amazon Kindle.  I think the price is around five or six dollars. The $399 dollar electronic reader intends to revolutionize how we read, and everyone is jumping in line to buy one.  Despite the 3 and 1/2 star rating, people have been on backorder for weeks because Amazon sold out of the little device that let’s you download books and newspapers right to the device in the convenience of your own home, never having to visit a physical bookstore again!  That’s okay….most bookstores wouldn’t carry my book anyway these days.

Yeah…yeah….I know I told you a few posts ago to boycott Amazon.  That’s okay too.  Chances are the people reading this blog don’t have a Kindle anyway.  So, you are more than welcome to go over to B&N and buy a copy of my book.  B&N is out of stock, but there are used copies for as little as $4.35, and NO, that’s not me trying to sell off copies of my own.  I’d at least sell autographed copies for 10 bucks!

My new friend, www.abebooks.com, has a wonderful array of copies starting at $4.96 and going up as much as $24.93!  Don’t worry…that’s not me either! Again, those are 2nd hand copies from individuals or overstock bookstores.  They probably got their stock from B&N which would explain why they don’t have any.

Or you could prance on over to Xlibris, my publisher, and buy a copy.  $17.84 for a paperback and $27.89 for a hardcover if you are desperate and don’t have to afford gas these days.  I think I’ll get like 10% of that sale; I haven’t earned a royalty from them in years so I look forward to that paycheck.

Or here’s an idea…for a buck you can download it right from my bookstore on Lulu.com.  If you still like the feel of paper in your hands, you can buy a copy there for only $9.99 too.  I think I earn like 40% of these sales, so go on…you can boycott Amazon, get the best price on an E-book version, and support the author all at once.  Go on now….I’ll wait for you.

Apr 11 2008

My Dauphin Island Fisherman

Another painting I did for the upcoming art show in May.  Inspired by all the pelican photographs I took while on vacation.  Believe it or not, I painting the background in one day, and painted the bird and the palm leaves a day later.  Two days!  The quickest I think I’ve ever painted something.  And I’m very proud of this one!  I love the colors.  I’m currently working on another of a swordfish for the same show.  Hope to finish it tomorrow.  I’ll have time to do one more probably before I have to ship these down to Alabama.  Now I just hope they sell!

Apr 11 2008

A Reader Writes

Today, I received a nice email from a reader who had purchased a copy of The Other Side of What for a friend of his as a Xmas gift.  The friend enjoyed it because my vivid detail of Memphis and the small town areas reminded him of his hometown and places he knew.  The friend gave the book back for him to read as well, and so he emailed me to let me know how much he enjoyed it too and related to the characters.

It’s been years since anyone wrote me in regards to the book, so this email was a pleasant surprise this morning amongst the spam and bill-pay reminders.  I read it over and over again at least two or three times before I replied.

It’s a personal email like this that makes the struggle of being a writer a little bit easier.  It puts me back on the page and reminds me why I really keep doing this.  I want to touch others with my words.  It doesn’t get any easier than that, and yet it’s very hard to accomplish.  There are so many books out there that writers often go unnoticed, and some never get to know what a book meant to its readers outside close friends and family.  And they don’t count.  After all, they are there to offer love and support no matter how good or bad your book may be. So, for a perfect stranger to sit down and write an email to me after reading my book makes all of this worth it.

So, thank you to Gary in Nashville, Tennessee, for letting me know I accomplished something.  It’s been five years since I wrote that book, and it’s good to know that someone is still reading it.  It’s good to know the book still resonates the meaning I wanted it to.  It was the spark I needed to keep writing right now.