Upon returning from vacation, the writing has been slow. Of course, the relaxing time spent on Dauphin Island sparked yet another novel idea (pun intended) of which I hand wrote an opening chapter while on vacation. I typed it and added a bit more when I got back, but moved it to the recycle bin yesterday. It was to be a mystery where a vacationer gets involved in a treasure hunt based on some clues he finds written in a house diary.
While we were vacationing, we rented a beach house for part of the time. J’s family arrived on Wednesday and stayed there with us for a visit. There was a diary in the house out in the open in which people had written things about their stay. Me loving a chance to write, garnered my pen and composed several pages. J’s uncle had an idea to hide a dollar somewhere in the house and write some clues in the diary telling people where to look for it. Sort of like those GPS navigational games people are into these days. And so that’s what we did.
I liked the idea of someone wanting to get away for some peace and quiet off on their own but quickly getting wrapped up in a treasure hunt like this. Who knows? Maybe I will write it someday. The beach and the pines of the island, and all of its coastal ambiance, were definite inspiration. But it’s just not the story I need to tell right now. I don’t know what the story is I do need to tell though. The characters in my ole mind have been quiet. I guess they are sorting themselves out. It feels good just to be writing this post now. My fingers have ached to compose something on the keyboard.
I wanted to call my mystery Lucky Enough. Those were the words on a sign we saw on one of the houses on the beach, probably a reference to Hurricane Katrina. I still think that’s a great title. I even took a picture of the house to keep for inspiration. But like I said, for now it’s just not speaking to me…
This weekend was a movie weekend instead. J and I watched 5 in all:
I am Legend (kinda sucked, not what I thought it was going to be)
30 Days of Night (sucked)
Resident Evil 3 (mmmkay)
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (I loved it. J didn’t watch it.)
Atonement (Excellent film!)
I feel exactly like Mahoney did in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium which is probably why I liked it so much. I still feel like I’m waiting for my moment to shine, but getting to old and too far past that point in life. “I am a block of wood,” she says. I knew exactly how she felt. I prefer to call it “waiting in the wings.” I’ve spent the better part of my life pushing others to believe in their dreams, and achieve them. I’ve given up a lot of hope in achieving my own, or I have failed at them. I wake up most mornings and can’t even remember them.
I know I’ve barely tapped the surface of my writing potential. I’m still developing my techniques at painting or photography. And yet, this weekend I actually thought about throwing it all away. But what else is there to do if I step away from the handful of things like this that I seem to care so much about? I can continue going to work to a job where everyone constantly reminds me I’m so creative and should be doing something else. I can earn a paycheck and pay my bills and watch television and surf the web (although lately I haven’t even felt like turning on the computer). I can read. God knows there are a ton of books here waiting for someone to read them.
I think I’m just creatively overwhelmed right now. Maybe the vacation wasn’t enough. But then again, I don’t know what would be enough except to throw it all up in the air and be a bland and boring drone for a while.
What else is there?
So for now…I blog (write)…
I am a block of wood.